Tally-ing up

So I was thinking this morning about my 12 in 12. Not bad...not great, but not bad. Then I remembered that in the month before that, I had lost 5 pounds. That puts me up to 17 pounds in 16 weeks. Not bad...not great, but certainly not bad. It's definitely enough to be motivating. I don't plan to ever see those 17 pounds again, and am planning to leave a whole lot more along the way, never to be seen again either.

That's all...carry on.

Check *Updated*

Just wanted to record here that I have done my exercise for today! Check!

*Update* I decided I would give my body a little more exercise today, and I feel good about it! Wow...twice in one day! It's a new record! :)

Twelve

Since we have moved I haven't been able to find the scales...wonder if I threw them away?? I've never enjoyed stepping up on those things anyway! Today, however, I had no choice. I weighed in and made a discovery...TWELVE pounds in TWELVE weeks. Yep, that's a pound a week, and I'll take it. I wish it was more, but I'll take it...and I am going to feel good about it. I wonder what the next twelve weeks will hold for me??

Big Fat Loser

...and I don't mean the good kind! How horrible is it that I have already failed at this transformation I signed up for? So bad, I know. Nothing says failure like failure. It is only the 8th day of January, and I have already missed some exercise. I guess the important part is 'the rest of the story". I have no intentions of remaining in the failure category. Tomorrow is a new day, and I will succeed. A new day, and a new start...TGIF!

On the schedule...

I have some resistance training on my schedule for today. I'll get it in before the end of the day for sure!

I am currently watching Oprah, and I'll admit it's a hard one to watch. Weight is just such a public battle, no matter who you are. I could hide lots of things, but this fat on my body is not hide-able...it's out there for everyone to see. I hate it.

But this year...this week...this day, I am starting a journey towards losing that fat.

Assignment

So several days ago I signed up for a transformation. I am currently working on assignment #1, which is proving to be a challenge. Not a good sign, is it? I am supposed to take photos of myself, and write around the photo all of the things that I feel about it...or what the person in the picture feels. I have the pictures but I can't seem to make myself sit down to write the words...the feelings on paper. I am going to do it...no doubt about that, but I keep putting it of. I think I am afraid. I think I am afraid of the words I will write, and I think I am afraid of the emotions that will surface when I write those words. I have TONS of baggage (no pun intended) when it comes to the teasing and taunting and name-calling about my weight/size. Naturally, that means that I have lots of emotions connected to my self-image, and I work hard to keep them suppressed. If I write it down on paper, then I have to actually think about it...and that's not going to be fun at all. Again, I am absolutely going to do the assignment, but I'm just not looking forward to it :(

I will keep the pictures to myself for now...maybe one day in the future I will feel okay about posting them here. I truly hope that day comes...really, I do. Talk about a victory! But until then, I will make my lists and grow from the experience.

As soon as I have written, I will post my reflections here...but for now, say a little prayer for me. I need the Lord's strength as I journey through this!

January 2, 2009

Well, here we are wrapping up the second day of 2009. It was a good day...much was accomplished, and healthy eating was successful. I made some super yummy skinless sausage sauteed in the skillet with fresh zucchini and yellow squash. It was delicious, and to make it better, both of my kids ate it well, and Nathaniel commented on the yummy flavor! I am going to call that a win!

Now the kids are in bed and Nathaniel and I just enjoyed some sugar-free banana pudding left-over from yesterdays lunch at the in-laws. Now I just need to wash the dish and call it done!

Here's to starting off on the right foot!