Assignment

So several days ago I signed up for a transformation. I am currently working on assignment #1, which is proving to be a challenge. Not a good sign, is it? I am supposed to take photos of myself, and write around the photo all of the things that I feel about it...or what the person in the picture feels. I have the pictures but I can't seem to make myself sit down to write the words...the feelings on paper. I am going to do it...no doubt about that, but I keep putting it of. I think I am afraid. I think I am afraid of the words I will write, and I think I am afraid of the emotions that will surface when I write those words. I have TONS of baggage (no pun intended) when it comes to the teasing and taunting and name-calling about my weight/size. Naturally, that means that I have lots of emotions connected to my self-image, and I work hard to keep them suppressed. If I write it down on paper, then I have to actually think about it...and that's not going to be fun at all. Again, I am absolutely going to do the assignment, but I'm just not looking forward to it :(

I will keep the pictures to myself for now...maybe one day in the future I will feel okay about posting them here. I truly hope that day comes...really, I do. Talk about a victory! But until then, I will make my lists and grow from the experience.

As soon as I have written, I will post my reflections here...but for now, say a little prayer for me. I need the Lord's strength as I journey through this!